Photo credits: Shiralee Swan and Phil Jones

When I started learning to ride a motorcycle at 50, I genuinely thought it would be easy. Instead, I found myself terrified, overwhelmed and constantly questioning whether I was capable of doing it at all. In this article, I share my honest experience of rider anxiety, nervous system overload, imposter syndrome and the huge gap that can exist between competence and confidence.

I talk about falling off repeatedly, procrastinating rides, feeling like the only person struggling, and eventually realising that riding is just as much psychological as it is physical. I also explain why I wrote Remember You’re a Rider, how riders, instructors and training schools have responded to it, and why understanding mindset, nervous system responses and self-trust can completely change the riding experience for new, nervous and even experienced riders.

If I could go back and speak to my younger self, I’d say this: Take your time. There is no rush. Invest the right energy, time and money into learning properly. Do your research. And remember you’re a rider.

My motorcycling journey didn’t begin in the traditional way. In my twenties, I rode pillion for a while, but life moved on and bikes completely disappeared from my life. Then, years later, at 50 years old, I watched Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation and saw Rebecca Ferguson racing around on a motorcycle and thought: “I want to do that.”

What followed was not freedom, confidence and instant joy though.

It was fear.

When I booked my first lesson, everyone told me how easy it would be. I’d do my CBT in a day, and be out riding my 125 that I’d bought in no time. The reality was very different. I arrived excited, then realised within minutes that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and I was terrified. I fell off the scooter three times in my first lesson. I questioned my sanity constantly. Why am I doing this? Why is this so hard? Why does everyone else seem fine except me? And that’s the part of learning to ride that people often don’t talk about enough.

Riding Is Not Just About Skill

I run my own business as a mindset coach, and with this background, and also being a former leader, strategist and risk manager, I quickly realised that riding is just as much about mindset as it is about physical ability. You’re exposed. You’re learning complex new skills. Your brain is processing huge amounts of information. And unlike driving a car, there’s very little separation between you and the environment around you. Every wobble feels amplified. Every mistake feels personal. Every near miss feels huge. What I came to realise was that my nervous system simply didn’t yet trust that I  had the skills to keep myself safe. Because I didn’t…yet. But I would, as long as I kept showing up, and getting the right training and support, including from my training schools (big shout out to Kent Motorcycles, Camrider NDI, and RMT).  Once I understood that, everything started to make more sense. My reactions were not proof that I “couldn’t do it”. They were protective responses from a nervous system trying to keep me safe.

The Part Nobody Sees

There were days I put all my gear on, walked outside, sat on the bike… and then went back indoors again. Not because I didn’t want to ride, but because my nervous system was on such high alert that it genuinely didn’t feel safe enough to do it. That’s a very different thing. And yet so many riders interpret experiences like that as weakness, failure or proof they’re “not cut out for biking”.

I now know that many riders are silently carrying fears around dropping the bike, cornering, U-turns, junctions, right turns, filtering, riding alone, riding with others and making mistakes under pressure. But because motorcycle culture can sometimes reward confidence and bravado, many people keep those struggles hidden. That’s why community matters. Not every riding space feels psychologically safe for nervous riders. Finding people you can talk honestly with, and without ridicule, can make an enormous difference.

Confidence and Competence Are Not the Same Thing

One of the biggest things I’ve learned through my own journey and through supporting other riders is this: passing a test does not automatically create confidence. You can have the certificate. You can technically be competent. And still feel terrified riding alone.

That gap between competence and confidence is where many riders get stuck. Your body stiffens. Your nervous system goes into fight, flight or freeze. You overthink. You make mistakes. Then those mistakes become “evidence” that you can’t ride. And the cycle repeats.

Learning in a Way That Worked for My Brain

I actually started learning on a scooter before moving onto geared bikes because trying to learn absolutely everything at once was simply too much for my brain. That’s something I think more riders should hear. There is no “correct” timeline. There is no prize for suffering through overwhelm. There is no shame in slowing things down, breaking learning into stages or finding a route into riding that feels manageable for your nervous system. What matters is building solid foundations and enough trust in yourself that riding can become enjoyable rather than something you dread.

Riding Can Feel Like Therapy… Until It Doesn’t

People often describe motorcycling as therapy. And when everything aligns, it absolutely can be. But if your nervous system is overloaded, if your confidence has taken a knock, or if you’re stuck in fear and pressure, riding can stop feeling exhilarating and start feeling like a burden. That’s another thing riders often feel reluctant to admit, because there can be a huge disconnect between what motorcycling is “supposed” to feel like and what you are actually experiencing. I think that silence can make riders feel even more isolated.

Why I Started Speaking About Rider Mindset

As I became more involved in motorcycle communities online, I started noticing something. The same questions and worries kept appearing repeatedly. People doubting themselves. Feeling behind. Feeling scared. Feeling frustrated. Feeling embarrassed. Feeling like everyone else had somehow got the memo about riding except them.

At the same time, I realised these were exactly the same patterns I was seeing in my wider coaching work around self belief, confidence, nervous system management and behaviour change. That was the moment I realised this wasn’t just “my issue”. This was something many riders were struggling with quietly, and there weren’t really any services or resources bringing all these ideas together in one place.

That was when I decided to extend my mindset coaching business into the motorcycle world and start supporting riders directly. The response was immediate. Riders finally felt understood. They realised they weren’t weak, failing or “just overthinking”. They were having normal human responses to challenge, risk and pressure, and once they understood what was happening underneath the surface, things started to change.

And because I wanted to make my work as accessible as possible, I started creating lots of free resources for riders, including blogs, videos, social media content, workshops and a free online community where riders could openly talk about their fears, frustrations and confidence struggles without feeling judged or laughed at. The more I shared, the more obvious it became just how many riders had been quietly carrying these feelings on their own for years.

Why I Wrote Remember You’re a Rider

Eventually, I realised all the blogs, videos, social media posts and conversations I’d been creating needed pulling together into something more complete. That became Remember You’re a Rider.

The title actually came to me while I was out running. I’d been struggling with what to call the book because I wanted something memorable that captured the identity side of riding. Then suddenly “Remember You’re a Womble” popped into my head. Anyone of a similar age in the UK will probably remember it. When I got home, I looked up the meaning behind it and realised the whole song is based around identity and belonging. And my book was fundamentally about identity too. The identity of becoming a rider. So Remember You’re a Rider just fitted perfectly.

I knew I needed to make the book as relatable as possible, so I invited riders who had struggled, or were still struggling, with confidence to share their stories. Every rider who has put themselves forward is featured in the book.

The power of that has been incredible, because readers are not just hearing from me. They are seeing themselves reflected in the experiences of ordinary riders from different ages, backgrounds and riding journeys. Riders who thought they were the only one struggling with fear, overthinking, panic, self doubt or setbacks suddenly realised they were far from alone.

I truly believe that normalising these conversations has been one of the most important parts of the book, because shame and silence keep so many riders stuck. Once people realise that confidence struggles are common and understandable, it becomes much easier to start working through them constructively rather than hiding them.

The Biggest Mental Barrier Riders Face

In my opinion, one of the biggest barriers riders face is lack of trust. It takes time to learn new skills and build trust,  and even when you may technically be competent, your nervous system needs more time to catch up.

And when the nervous system perceives danger, it prepares the body for survival: fight, flight or freeze. Unfortunately, those responses are not particularly helpful on a motorcycle where you need relaxed movement, good observation, fluid control and clear thinking. Instead, riders stiffen up, grip tightly, stop breathing properly, hyper-focus on danger and make mistakes. Then the mistake reinforces the fear, and before long, riding stops being enjoyable altogether.

What I Want Riders to Understand

The biggest thing I want riders to take away from my work and from Remember You’re a Rider is this: there is nothing wrong with you. Your nervous system is trying to protect you. The goal is not to become fearless. The goal is to understand what is happening underneath the surface so you can work with it instead of against it.

That’s why I encourage riders to advocate for themselves properly with instructors and training schools. Don’t just choose the nearest or cheapest school automatically. Research. Ask questions. Find instructors who understand how people learn under pressure. Invest properly in your riding. Because at the end of the day, what price do we put on our safety?

Writing the Book Triggered My Own Imposter Syndrome

What’s quite ironic is that while writing about imposter syndrome, I started experiencing it intensely myself. Who was I to write this? I’d only been riding a couple of years. I wasn’t a lifelong biker. I hadn’t grown up around bikes. I was completely new to the industry. And I had to use the exact same tools and principles from the book on myself just to find the courage to publish it.

Gradually I realised that my credibility was never supposed to come from pretending to be the world’s most experienced rider. What I was bringing into the motorcycle world was a very different kind of expertise. I was already an award-winning coach with years of experience helping people with mindset, behaviour change, confidence, nervous system management and overcoming psychological barriers in other areas of life. I also had my own lived experience of struggling deeply with learning to ride as an adult beginner, and I could see patterns that many people inside the industry perhaps hadn’t been looking at through that lens before.

Once I understood that, things started to shift for me. I realised I didn’t need to be the best rider, the oldest rider or the most technically advanced rider to have something valuable to contribute. My role was to help explain the human side of riding and the psychological side of learning in a way that riders could relate to and understand. Especially while I was still developing my own riding confidence and skills.

And very quickly, the response from riders, instructors, training schools and the wider motorcycle community put those imposter feelings firmly to bed. Because the feedback made it very clear that this conversation was needed.

The Response Completely Blew Me Away

I was absolutely stunned when the book launched and hit number one in Amazon’s motorcycle reference category, staying there for three days and knocking some very established names off the top spot. But more important than rankings has been the feedback from riders themselves. That has honestly been the most meaningful part. The reviews speak for themselves.

New riders have messaged me saying they cried reading parts of the book because for the first time they realised there wasn’t something fundamentally wrong with them. Returning riders have described finally understanding why confidence hadn’t automatically appeared after passing tests. Experienced riders have told me they recognised struggles they’d carried quietly for years but had never really been able to put into words. And instructors, observers and training schools have repeatedly said: “This explains exactly what we see in trainees.”

That matters enormously to me because the book was never intended to replace rider training. It was designed to support the human being underneath the helmet so that training can actually land more effectively. Some schools now recommend it to nervous riders before lessons. Some instructors use the concepts to help riders who are stuck in fear loops, overthinking or repeated confidence crashes. And importantly, experienced riders have also highlighted that mindset work does not stop mattering once someone passes a test. If anything, it becomes even more important as riding environments, speed, complexity and expectations increase.

I’m also incredibly excited about the collaborations that have grown out of this work with training schools, riders and influential people and organisations across the motorcycle industry. One of the most significant was connecting with Jim Sanderson, founder of Biker Down, who wrote one of the two forewords for the book. The work has also led to me becoming the official mindset partner for the British Motorcyclists Federation, being invited to join the SMIDSY card loyalty scheme, and support members of the Honda Owners Club GB, and join forces with DS Roadcraft by providing mindset support on tour.

I’m also going to be speaking on stage at the Heritage Sprint event and holding sit down sessions at the Women in Moto event, and running workshops with training schools, including Apex MCT and ART Rider Training, and Ridewise.Pro, and attending book signings around the country.

These are all things I feel hugely proud of, and very grateful to everyone who has welcomed my work with open arms, as it’senabling it to reach those who will benefit most and helping them feel safer, be safer, and able to enjoy their riding at last!.

Supporting Good Causes

Another thing that has genuinely surprised me is the level of revenue the book has generated. It has far exceeded what I expected, which has enabled me to start supporting several causes and initiatives that mean a great deal to me and to the wider riding community.

These include:

• True Heroes Racing
• Nellie Newth 44 (junior racer)
• DocBike
• Whizz-Kidz (through the Ride of the Ruperts)
• Air Ambulances UK (through sponsorship of the Bristol Biking Girls 2026 calendar)

One of the loveliest parts of all of this is realising that every time someone buys the book, they are not only supporting themselves and their own riding journey, they are also helping support the wider motorcycle community too.

Looking Back

Looking back now, I think things would have felt very different if I’d known from the start that struggling was normal. I went into riding expecting it to feel easy because that’s what I’d been told. And when it didn’t, I assumed the problem was me.

Now I know better. But I am glad I went through it as I wouldn’t have known about the issues and wouldn’t be doing this work now. And I love it.

Learning to ride is hard for many people, especially when you start later in life, especially when you’re highly aware of risk, and especially when your nervous system takes time to trust new experiences. But struggling does not mean you can’t become a rider. Sometimes it simply means you’re human. And sometimes the people who struggle the most at the beginning become the people most able to help others later on.

Watch This Space

One final thing…

Over the past couple of months, I’ve also been working on something really special with Dan Wright from North Downs Media.

Together, we’ve been creating a short film about the story behind Remember You’re a Rider and the journey that led me from terrified beginner rider to supporting other nervous and returning riders around the world.

It explores the reality behind learning later in life, the mindset struggles many riders quietly face, and why this conversation matters so much to me personally.

I was also invited last summer to take part in a film by Honda Motorcycles, which will be released on their social media very soon.

So watch this space…

Next Steps

If this resonates, this is exactly what I explore in my book Remember You’re a Rider, available on Amazon and my website, where I share real rider experiences and explain what is happening inside your helmet, so you can work with it rather than against it. And if you want support applying this in your own riding, my coaching is designed to sit alongside your training and help you build confidence from the inside out.

Visit www.motorcyclemindset.co.uk to find out more and book a free chat to explore your options.

British Motorcyclists Federation members can also access 15% off my group and 1:1 motorcycle mindset coaching, designed to sit alongside training and support confidence from the inside out. You can sign up to the BMF here.

SMIDSY Card holders can also benefit from discounts off my services. Contact me or visit their website to find out more.

Disclaimer

The content shared on this website and in related social media posts is not intended as riding advice and should never replace professional motorcycle training or safety instruction. It is written from the perspective of a certified life coach and motorcyclist, not a qualified riding instructor.

My aim is to support your mindset and emotional resilience as you learn, ride, or return to the road. The tools and reflections shared are based on lived experience and coaching practice, not technical riding expertise.

You are responsible for your own safety, decisions, and actions on and off the bike. For practical riding instruction and technique, always consult a DVSA-approved motorcycle instructor or school.