I am all for celebrating ourselves whatever our size and shape and agree we absolutely should not judge ourselves or anyone else by our/their appearance or size, and it’s our own choice what we do with our bodies.

But I was a bit concerned recently when I read a paragraph in an article about self-love and body positivity, that, in summary, indicated that there is no point in weighing ourselves because all it does is make us unhappy and there is nothing we can do about our weight, it’s all down to our genetics, so focus on loving ourselves as we are.

Now I am not suggesting that this is what all body positivity advocates believe, and I wonder if the message has been misconstrued by the author of the article that I read.

But I have trouble with what is being suggested on a number of levels, and especially in my role as an advocate for health, and so I was compelled to share my opinion on this very important topic.

With regard to weighing ourselves…

In my experienced opinion, when we’re overweight, or worried about being overweight, it’s not weighing ourselves that’s the real issue; it’s the meaning we attach to the number on the scale that is the problem.

And we can attach the same meaning to clothes sizes or the tape measure, especially when they go in the opposite direction to what we want.

Even looking at photos can be very subjective depending on our mood.

I completely agree that our happiness should not be defined by the number on the scale, but that number can give us one useful piece of data in learning how to manage our weight well, which can lead to more happiness, if we are able to let go of weight-related problems that impact on how we live our daily lives, and worries about the future.

That in my opinion is an act of self-love.

It’s also important that we are not relying on the scale alone, and are seeing the bigger picture.

Whichever measure we use to quantify our weight or size, if we change our perception to a constructive, objective one,  as opposed to a destructive and emotional one, we are much more likely to find that happiness.

Time and again my clients tell me how being overweight affects what they are able to do on a day-to-day basis, both physically and mentally. They are exhausted, have put their lives on hold, and desperately want to change it.

They also tell me they hate what they see in photos and in the mirror, and I completely get it.

It magnifies how they feel about themselves both on the inside and on the outside because their bodies feel physically uncomfortable, sometimes extremely so, making everyday life more difficult. It’s really hard for them to feel positive about their bodies.

I used to feel the same.

I remember what it was like being overweight, feeling so unhappy, unhealthy, lacking in confidence and not in control of myself around food.

I had no idea how to manage my weight, and had a terrible relationship with myself and with food. I was always either on a diet or piling on the pounds, there wasn’t anything in between, and my self-worth was completely wrapped up in my weight. It felt impossible to feel positive about my body, no matter how hard I tried.

There wasn’t a day I didn’t worry about it, there wasn’t a shop window I could walk past without baulking at my reflection, and I couldn’t look at a photo of me from a happy event without focusing on how big I looked.

Physical activities and daily movement were uncomfortable, and I caused myself injuries by overdoing things because my body couldn’t cope with the demands I was placing on it.

And I also used to hide from the scale…but the times when I did that were the times I would gain weight….every single time!

When it comes to the number on the scale, at the end of the day, I learned that when we strip it all back, and take the emotion out of it, it’s just data to inform the relationship for most of us between how much we are eating and the results of that.

Learning how to manage this well is, in my opinion, an act of self-love.

The real issue that we may have is more to do with the fact that we’ve eaten more than our bodies need.

And we may not be ready to face that.

We also may feel fearful of changing how we eat, as what will we replace it with? Food is so much more to us than fuel.

Which brings me on to the next point, genetics.

 

With regard to genetics…

Yes, we are meant to be different shapes and sizes and our genes do play a part in how our bodies use energy.

But what and how much we eat is the biggest influence on weight for most people and there’s plenty we can do about that… if we want to enough.

It’s one thing for someone who is considered to be overweight to not want to lose it… that’s a personal choice.

It’s quite another to not do anything about it because we’ve been led to believe it’s impossible by well-meaning but inaccurate advice, and that’s what I have the main issue with.

Learning how to lose weight and, even more importantly, how to keep it off, is what I help people to do every day, with great success.  Even those who had zero belief that they could do it. Once they unlock the power within themselves it’s truly transformational from the inside out, and hugely positive.

So, if we simply eat as much as we want, and what we want, and not care about or pay attention to how much we weigh, we run the risk of developing a range of serious of health problems, and in the worst-case scenario, shortening our lives.

It’s soooo easy so overeat without realising it, as overeating isn’t necessarily about the volume of food we eat, it’s also about the quality and the energy density of what we’re eating, and eating more energy than our bodies need.

Ultra-processed foods make it easier for our bodies to absorb the energy from them, and they are made to be so tasty that we keep going back for more, and develop dependencies in the form of emotional eating.

Yes, we do need governments, food manufacturers and retailers to help us in addressing the social and physical environment that we live in, where food is all around us in greater and higher calorie proportions than ever before; ultra-tasty, ultra-processed, and ultra more-ish.

But most of us still need to accept that we can’t eat as much as we would like to and be the weight we would like to.

We need to take responsibility for how much energy we are consuming, and reduce it, if we want to be a healthy weight.

Health services are already overwhelmed and they absolutely will not be able to cope in the future if they are overrun with the ticking time bomb of weight-related health issues that are predicted.

In my own personal experience, the point where everything started to change for the better came when I finally recognised that by eating as much as I was, and smoking as well, I was actually doing myself serious long-term harm.

I realised that if I wanted to live a long and healthy life without pain, discomfort or illness that I could prevent, then I needed to make some serious changes, and find other, healthier ways of dealing with the reasons for overeating and smoking.

All the while celebrating my body – it gets me about each day and does wonderful things in keeping me alive. I love it enough to want to look after it properly, do what I want with it, whether that be get tattoos, dye my hair or run a marathon, and also not be judged by others for my size, shape or appearance.

That to me is what body positivity is about.

So the part that I absolutely do agree with is that we need to focus on self-love.

But that self-love absolutely needs to include learning and understanding how to eat for good health, both now and in the future, and becoming and staying a healthy weight is part of thatfor me.

 

Claire Jones is a multi-award-winning Sustainable Weight Loss Coach, Mentor, Therapist, Speaker and Author of the popular book “How To Eat Less”. She helps people learn how to manage their weight well for life.

With a career background of over 25 years spanning the NHS, HM Prison Service, and the UK Fire Service, she had seen first-hand what happens when people don’t look after their health, and had a natural desire to help and to serve those in need.

However, it was after overcoming decades of yo-yo dieting and started looking after her own health better, that she found a particularly unique way to be of service. She realised she had found an effective, unique and sustainable solution to the weight loss and regain cycles that so many go through, that cripples their confidence, damages their health and holds them back from the lives they really want.

She is known for her relatable, down-to-earth manner and for helping her clients finally crack the code to their healthy weight and happiest selves.